Four things made more awesome by communism

I know, I know, you must all be recoiling in shock and amazement right about now … “A list with FOUR items on it?!? However will I finish all of them in 15 minutes?!”

Well, to answer that, I have no idea, but my solution and suggestion to you is for you to stop whining. Srsly. Now - down to business.

1. Mario

If there’s anything that represents the former Soviet Union better than thick mustaches and huge hammers, I don’t know what it is. This moving parody turns Mario into a dark hero of the red nations of the world. And all this time, you thought Tetris was the only decent video game to come from the Soviets.

2. Christmas (and alliteration*)

The clever cartoon is quickly climbing (*) up my list of all-time favorite patriotic American economic satires. Soon enough, it might even surpass Sesame Street. Watch for the cameo from the ’80s TV show that none of us have likely seen.

3. Lemonade

Ha! Betcha didn’t see THAT one coming, did ya? … *sigh* I know, I know. Terrible use of a already terrible pun. My bad.

Despite the gushing, sugary amounts of irony flowing through this particular entry on the list, Leninade is actually pretty good. It’s a little tough to find, and every time I stand in line with a bottle of it in my hand, I feel like I’m turning into “that guy.” You know the one, the hipster who absolutely has to have the specialty foods that are hard to find and stuff … except it’s even worse when it’s lemonade. Oh well. I’ll just keep reminding myself of the beverage’s tagline: “A taste worth standing in line for.”

4. Southern rock ‘n’ roll

Yes, seriously. I’ve saved the best for last, and although it’s debatable whether or not any of the people in this video are actually communists (the band at the front is actually from Finland), this is epic and definitely worth watching. Apparently it’s from 1994, but I didn’t have cable at the time so I never saw it. Enjoy (full version of the song here).

In case you’re interested, the choir in the back has been the official choir of Russia’s army since 1928. They also have much better outfits than the choir I’m in. Srsly.